“Time feels like it’s changed, I don’t feel the same”

It feels strange to write again. Not that I’ve ever stopped, but what I mean is to write in a more cathartic, release kind of way and not so much in a poetic way. I mentioned this somewhere not too long ago, but I miss my old Tumblr sometimes. The writing part of it at least – I used it as some kind of therapeutic place where I would just shut out the world and turn whatever it was that was brewing within me into words. And it worked. For a good few years, actually. I started it during the summer of my freshman year and continued using it until a year or two after I graduated. High school is a weird place, you experience so much within such a short window of your day but anyone that has been through it will understand, it’s just a LOT. Sensory overload. But writing everyday helped me deal with so much of what was going on, it helped me understand things better. After moving away from California, I just stopped using it for some reason. I’ll never understand, or know, the reason why I stopped using it but I believe starting painting took up so much of my time that I just never had the time anymore. At the time, I was always sad for a lot of different reasons. There was girl stuff, friend stuff, and a whole lot of other things that I was always thinking of something. But I had always hoped that I’d be so busy that I wouldn’t have time to think about things anymore and in a lot of ways, I got my wish when I started painting. Because then I really didn’t have the time to do anything else, but it was good and I loved it. Now, it’s been years and I just really miss having that therapeutic outlet again. And with this blog, obviously I wouldn’t feel so anonymous and hidden, but maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Maybe it’s actually a good thing, maybe then I would feel heard.