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A Look Back

Francis Ochoa

At the end of the day, all I need to know is that I’m proud of what I’ve done. Beyond all the pretentiousness of “art” and what it is and wanting to make something bigger than myself that will outlast me and legacy and all the daunting shit that it carries with it, when I look back, all I’d like is to see a collection of pieces that I am proud to have devoted some of the most important years of my life to.

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My Insecurities With Social Media

Francis Ochoa

Hello everyone!

With every post, it seems like I say that I’m going to blog more often and unfortunately, end up not doing that. So I’m going to keep myself from saying that and just see how it goes, I will say that I do enjoy writing blogs and updates for you guys so we’ll see.

For this one, I want to speak about my insecurities with social media. And before I say anything on the topic, I first want to say that I was never putting a front or being false about who I am – but the fault comes when I only tend to show you guys the “better” parts of me. In retrospect, it just makes me look like a robot. It’s a tricky thing, I didn’t use to feel so pressured and affected by social media. I was unaffected by the numbers and the idea that thousands of eyes are watching everything that I say or do… until it did, and that scared me tremendously.

In all honestly, the more my audience grew, the more afraid I was to show more of who I really was because I never wanted to offend, alienate or worst, annoy anyone. And I never wanted to feel spammy with the things that I said or posted. It essentially felt like an inverse growth. In short, I didn’t want to lose them. But lately, I’ve noticed a decrease in engagement with my work. And like any human being, it made me feel disappointed and sad, so I thought: “Maybe, they’re getting tired of me. To remedy this, maybe I should go away for a little bit,” and I did, and nothing changed. So it definitely wasn’t that my audience was getting tired of me. So with that, it clicked with me to just surrender to the natural way of things and accept that social media is just a tricky thing that I’ll never truly understand, that there is no real way to ensure that our posts get the attention we believe they deserve. So I’m just going to put my best foot forward and create things that I love to create. And after an excessive amount of thought, I thought about how it was such a shitty thing it was for me to censor my opinions, my ideas, my personality, and who I genuinely am as a person. The fact is that people that wish to support me will support me and those that do not, will leave. And that is fine.

So here’s a promise to be more honest about who I am, because I am not interested in censoring myself any longer. It’s exhausting to have to hide so much. Besides, I enjoy genuinely interacting with all of you anyway, I love hearing your thoughts and comments on everything. So I hope you’re ready to go through my best and worst days. And if you disagree with any of the things that I say or post from this point onwards, feel free to unfollow. The door is wide open.

Love always,
Francis